1/30/00 Sunday night
Hello!
I just got home from downtown. We saw the musical "Footloose" and then had dinner at the Italian Village. I was over points again! I had 32 and I should only have 22-29. I managed to measure out just 1 cup (estimated) of my pasta dish to eat and scoot the rest to the side of the plate for leftovers. I had pasta with shrimp and sun-dried tomatoes in tomato sauce. My friend ordered the chicken parmesan covered in cheese and she dipped her bread in a thick mixture of cheese and olive oil. Even though I was over points, I feel like I did well because I ate less than the person I was with. Do you ever think that way? The frustrating part is that the amount I'm over is really just 1 serving of the bread I had in the restaurant (I had 2 before dinner). I really wish I'd only had one - I was so close to being within points. Footloose was great! The leading man (playing Kevin Bacon's part) - whew! he can move!!
Tonight I am making the commitment do the exercise. When I sign off, I'm hopping on the treadmill - almost forgot I had one, it's been so long! I'm going to walk for 10 minutes - possibly 20 but at least 10. I really can do this! It's the small things every day that make the big difference. I'm going to focus on small things one at a time. My small goal is to break out of the 190's. I was at 194 last Tuesday, so I'd like to be in the 180's soon. Maybe I'll reward myself with something. Right now I need to get back to the basics of the plan. Stick to the 22-29 point range of eating, get some exercise everyday (even if only 10 minutes) and drink the water. I'm actually doing very well with the water. I've been so thirsty lately! Keeping the journal of my eating is helping me to see the way my cravings change during the month. I'm very proud of myself that I'm recording the points even when I go over. I'm writing everything down.
Marc is coming home tonight!!!! I really missed him, but to be honest, it was kind of nice just to have some time to myself for a little while.
- Beth
2/1/00 Tuesday Morning
Good Morning!
Well, today was my weigh-in and I got just what I deserved.
I gained a half of a pound. What was I thinking that went over points
so much last week. I should be in the 22-29 range and I had an anverage of 36! I was only
within points 2 out of 7 days, I only had the full 6 glasses of water the last 4 days of the
week and only exercised once for 20 minutes (Sunday night).
Get it together! I am in control of this andI need to start acting like it. Everything that went into
my mouth was because I put it there. Am I really thinking about what I'm doing or am I just eating without thinking?
Am I just rationalizing every little thing? It stops now. When I hit 29 points, I'm done for the day.
No more anything unless it's zero points.
I have made a commitment to this lifestyle change. I am not backing down. I can do this.
I'm taking it one step at a time. Today I will exercise 20 minutes, I will drink all of the water and I will
eat within my point range.
On thing I'm noticing is that it's usually just one or two things I eat that throw me over each day.
It’s not a major change to stay within points, it's just not having the one or two things that throw me off.
I let myself slip back into fast food last week. It's a weakness for me and I need to keep it from even being an option. It's not an option (I don't consider Subway fast food - but I still want to limit my lunches there to once a week).
This week I had Burger King, KFC and Taco Bell. I ordered the best options available, but I shouldn't have been there in the first place. I could've had twice as much food for the same points if I made it at home.
I CAN do this!!!!
Here's to the start of a great week!!!
- Beth
2/2/00 Wednesday Morning
Good Morning!
I'm off to a good start. Yesterday I was within points (28) and I had a ton
of water. I did not get my exercise in, but I will today for sure.
Marc and I were at my house last night (we alternate where we stay) and we
had Indian food for dinner. I got take-out and we set the table with candles. It
was really nice. I stayed within points and still had a nice romantic dinner. I
had every intention of exercising, but it was so nice just to be with Marc
again that I didn't. Regular exercise is an area that I really need work on.
I was reading some other weight loss journals and almost everyone that has lost it and
kept it off does regular exercise. Some people are working out for 1-2 hours a day. How
do people do that? When I was in college I could work out like that, but when you work 8-5 and sometimes later it's hard to make the time. When I get home I just want to relax, have dinner and be with Marc. They say to do it in the morning, but I just
can't seem to get out of bed an hour early every morning. It would also mean going to
bed that hour early, and I hate to give up that time. This is an area I have to fix
somehow. I realize that the things I'm saying don't show much of a commitment to it. For now, I really don't have an excuse for not getting in the 10-20 minutes.
Today I have soup for lunch and cereal with a banana for breakfast. Popcorn for a snack if I need it.
I'm going to try to keep it under 26 points this week. It would feel so wonderful to weigh in next week with a nice loss.
- Beth
2/4/00 Friday Afternoon
Yesterday, I was at work and Marc called about 10:00. He just got back from the emergency care center.
He was in the shower and his nose started bleeding - so hard that he was swallowing it. He sat down on the
bed and went into a seizure (he couldn't remember it happening). When he came to, he was on the floor. He hit his head on the radiator, blacked his eye, had a concussion with a huge bump on his forehead, cut his nose. He landed on a large jar that he keeps coins in. It
shattered when he landed on it and sliced his arm from shoulder to elbow. I was on my way to work when it
happened, so when he couldn't reach me, he called his boss who took him to the emergency care center. I left
work as soon as I got his call and went to his house. There was blood on the walls, the phone, everywhere. I was so scared. He has a doctor's appointment today.
I'm just a nervous wreck!
What if he had been driving? What if he hit his head a little harder and lay unconscious bleeding?
I don't want to think about it, but it keeps nagging at me….
It feels a little weird writing about my points and exercise, when all I can think about is how close he came
to being seriously hurt. I didn't exercise, obviously, but I did get my water in. I was 3 points over yesterday because I
forgot to write down the graham crackers I munched on when I got to his house (stress eating!!). I ended the day
thinking I was within points and then I remembered those. I started out today by eating a package of donuts from the
vending machine at work - the one I promised to avoid! That was 10 points - and at that particular moment, I didn't care.
Now it's a few hours later and It's going to be a struggle to make the day because of that. Will I ever learn?
Marc didn't want to go to the doctor - I gave him this big speech about doing everything we can to keep ourselves healthy so
we can live a long, long life and not take any of it for granted. He's going to the doctor, obviously (between me, his parents and his friends, he decided it was easier to go than to listen to us nag).
It occurred to me later that the same speech applies to me. I do want to live a long healthy life and part of that is
eating well, exercising and keeping a healthy weight. Yes, I want to wear that smaller size, but even more importantly, I want to
be healthy and alive! That's the most important reason for the changes in my lifestyle.
I probably won't get a chance to write until Monday morning. See you then!!
- Beth
2/7/00 Monday Morning
Monday morning again! How does the weekend go so fast? Marc is doing just
fine. He still looks like he came out on the wrong end of a fight. His eye is swollen
and bruised, his nose is cut bumped up and his arm is bandaged. We've been joking
that I showed him who's boss. I guess we have to find humor somewhere in this.
He has an MRI on Thursday and is supposed to schedule an EEG sometime today.
Sunday we went to China town for the Chinese New Year's Parade. We had dim sum,
which is like a chinese brunch. The servers wheel carts around the restaurants with little
baskets of food - dumplings, rice balls, won tons, spring rolls, chicken's feet
(seriously!) and other things. You pick little baskets off of the cart and the meal is
basically lot's of little amounts of things. Of course, I passed on the chicken's feet - being on weight
watchers and all *wink*.
That night we had his parents over for dinner and he made Peking Duck which is a fancy Chinese dish.
Neither of us are Chinese, he's Italian and I'm pretty much just American (my family tree in the US goes back 200 years!).
Marc is a wonderful cook and he loves to try different country's dishes and we both love food and
holidays, so we thought it would be fun.
Even though I made very healthy choices (steamed dumplings, nothing fried…) I still went way over points.
It seems like there is always something special coming along involving food. Even when I have healthy options,
the portion control gets out of hand. In the spirit of true confession, here is how I did this weekend:
Friday 42 pts, all the water, no exercise
Saturday 29 pts, all of the water, no exercise
Sunday 56 (gulp) points, all of the water, no exercise
I should be having 22-29 points per day. No wonder I'm overweight. If I'm having this many points when I'm trying to watch
it, My god!
What am I eating when I'm not writing everything down? Keeping the journal is really making me aware of why I'm
overweight.
I know I must sound ridiculous that I keep promising to stay within points and then
I blow it. The important thing for me to remember is that I am changing life-long habits here. I can't expect it to be easy over-night.
I'm focusing on today! My weigh-in is tomorrow morning and I am going to follow the plan exactly for today.
I have my youth group tonight, so I'm going to pick up some fruit at the store for our snack. I can't keep buying sweets for them
without giving in and having some myself.
I'm also going to walk on my treadmill tonight.
I'm taking this one day at a time.
I read another journal where she ended with something she accomplished toward her goal at the end of every journal. I like that! Here's mine for this weekend:
I wrote down everything that went into my mouth. Even though I went over points, I made much healthier choices than I would've in my old lifestyle.
- Beth
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